“Your mother is dying.”

My mind understood the doctor’s words, but my heart refused to believe them. Only a few days prior, my ninety-four-year-old mother had taken a day trip to Reno with my husband. How could she be dying?

Why now, God?

This was supposed to be the weekend I would put the final touches on my novel before sending it to my agent.

Too many circumstances in the past six months had kept me from diligently writing. Moving in with my mom after her stroke. Readying our house for sale. Packing the things of my own I wanted to keep. Thanksgiving, Christmas, visiting with my daughter’s family on their return from overseas. Stomach flu – three times in two months.

And now, this.

I was afraid.

Afraid if I don’t keep writing, my agent will drop me.

Afraid if I don’t finish my next project soon, I’ll never find a publisher.

Afraid if I don’t keep blogging and posting on social media, I will lose the tiny bit of platform I’ve gained.

Afraid to watch my mother die.

Like the song from Christian recording artist, Zach Williams, “Fear, he is a liar.”

God’s word is the truth.

“Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established” (Proverbs 16:3).

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).

“The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps” (Proverbs 16: 9).

Though I’m afraid and overwhelmed, God is showering me with His peace as I meditate on His word. I encourage you to “take His yoke upon you” so He can give you rest.

Jane Daly is a banker by day, blogger by night. She makes her home in Northern California with her husband of forty years and two cats. Connect with her and see her published books at www.janeSdaly.com. Check out her blog, The Caregiving Season.

 

 

 

 

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They say it’s your birthday. It’s my birthday, too, yeah.

I’m glad it’s your birthday. We’re gonna have a good time.

–Lennon/McCartney

Today is my birthday. Now that my feet are firmly planted in my sixth decade, I have questions that must be answered.

What happened to my nice, thick eyebrows, and why are they now growing on my upper lip?

When did I become my mother?

Will I ever remember all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody?

When will I stop acting like a spoiled child?

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things (I Corinthians 13:11).

When I read Paul’s words to the Corinthians, I think about the ways I am still a child. Remember when your kids were little, and they’d put their hands over their ears so they wouldn’t have to hear your rebuke? Sometimes I still do that when I hear the Lord’s voice through His word, through a sermon, or from the gentle chastening from a friend.

My pastor’s sermon two weeks ago was on evangelism. The word strikes trepidation deep in the soul of every introverted Christian. I picture the guy in our city who stands on various freeway overpasses with a bright pink sign with the words “John 3:16.” No way, God. (Hands over my ears.)

A few months ago, my ninety-three-year-old mother’s health declined to the point where she was afraid to be home alone at night in case she fell. My husband, Mike, suggested we move in with her. No way, God. (Hands over my ears.)

Paul encourages us to put away childish things – thoughts, actions, and attitudes. I feel Jesus’ gentle touch, prying my hands off my ears so I can hear his voice. At sixty-two, I may have finally grown up.

Jane Daly is the author of two books, Because of Grace, A Mother’s Journey from Grief to Hope, and The Caregiving Season, Finding Grace to Honor Your Aging Parent. She makes her home in Northern California. When she’s not working at the bank or hunched over her computer, she enjoys riding her bike and scrapbooking.

www.janeSdaly.com

www.facebook.com/janedalyspeakerandauthor

@queenjanedaly

Photo courtesy: https://www.123rf.com/profile_vgstudio’>vgstudio / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

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