It was so hot even the bees were dropping like flies.

In our desert area of Southern California, we get used to the soaring summer heat and I thought the insects would too, but we kept finding dead bees by our front door. We thought, “Can’t do anything about it and it can’t be anything too serious,” so we just ignored the strange phenomenon. Until we also noticed a dark spot on the wall near the ceiling—a wall close to the front door.

We called out pest control and they checked the attic. The truth was revealed. Bees had taken up residence in our attic, having gained entrance through a small hole in the roof. The honey from the hive had started leaking into the wall.

And the dead bees on our walkway? That was how bees clean out the hive. They push their dead comrades out and they tumble to the ground. The mystery was solved and serious damage to our house was averted.

The same thing happens with temptation. Even though there are signs we are being tempted, we don’t consider them serious and ignore them. Then we give into the temptation and the sin takes up residence. Maybe too late, we realize the benign signs are actually warnings. We need to clean out the “hive” by removing the sources of temptation.

God loves us so much that He warns us. “But people are tempted when their own evil desire leads them away and traps them. This desire leads to sin, and then the sin grows and brings death” (James 1:14-15 NCR).

Your faithful God reaches out to you to warn you because He wants only the best for you. See His loving hand?

Kathy Collard Miller is a speaker and author of over fifty books including At the Heart of Friendship: Daughters of the King Bible Study Series. She has spoken in over thirty states and eight foreign countries. Kathy and husband Larry live in Southern California and have two children and two grandchildren. Visit her: www.KathyCollardMiller.com; www.Facebook.com/KathyCollardMillerAuthor; @KathyCMiller. Instagram: @KathyCollardMiller

 

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When Larry and I arrived in Jakarta, Indonesia, our missionary hosts directed us to our hotel room and left us to freshen up. Larry plugged in his shaver but it didn’t turn on even though we used the adaptor we brought. I tried to plug in the coffee maker provided in the room and still no electricity!

“The room’s electricity must be broken,” I said and quickly dialed the front desk to tell them of the problem.

They said a repairman would be right up and within minutes, we heard a knock on the door. The man looked into the room and then pointed to a small fixture on the wall near the door.

In broken English, he said, “Put your room key in that.”

We slid the key into the fixture and tried the lamp. Bingo! It turned on! Electricity was supplied to the room!

We laughed as the maintenance man walked away, gently shaking his head at the silly Americans who don’t know how to turn on the electricity.

Yes, you now know that in Indonesia (and many other places as well since it was the same situation in Hong Kong) that you must plug in the key at the door to get electricity.

In a fresh way, I was reminded that if I don’t “plug” into the Holy Spirit’s power to do what God wants me to do, I’m not going to be “electrified.”

Let’s not even try to do God’s work on our own. Instead, seek His power by asking Him for His abilities through you.

Kathy Collard Miller loves to speak and write about how God’s children can trust Him more. She has spoken in over thrity U.S. states and eight foreign countries. She has over fifty published books including At the Heart of Friendship: Daughters of the King Bible Study Series. Larry and Kathy live in Southern California and are the parents of two and grandparents of two. Visit her at www.KathyCollardMiller and www.facebook.com/KathyCollardMillerAuthor and @KathyCMiller.

 

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Kathy Collard Miller

Be An Effective Mentor.

Hello from Kathy Collard Miller, writing in the very hot desert near Palm Springs, California.

One of the many goals of mentoring is helping our mentee identify her motive for the choices she makes. She may not realize it but all of us react, respond, and choose based upon what we desire and want. Or what we think will prevent some kind of emotional pain, maybe even physical pain. Helping our mentee to recognize what can seem well-hidden is a challenge.

My husband and I are lay-counselors and as we try to help people make wise and godly choices, we’ve seen the most long-rang change when there has been a heart transformation, not just mental assent or gritting their teeth (metaphorically) to force obedience. Because we also received counseling and have been in relationships where we were mentored, we have appreciated the mentor or friend who asked questions that helped us identify our motives and what we hoped to gain when we made a particular choice.

If you’d like to help others discover why they “do what they do,” you don’t have to be a “formal” mentor. Even in casual friends friendships, you can inquire into their heart’s motives. Rather than encourage them to grit their teeth and vow to be better, we want them to have a deep spiritual change where their motives are based upon greater trust in God—not self-effort.

Asking questions rather than giving advice helps your mentee/friend to get in touch with their motivations. If we only give advice, our mentee could depend upon us for their power rather than having a heart for God. But the difficulty is thinking of the questions to ask.

Here Are Some Questions to Use During Mentoring

These aren’t used in any order but can be used depending upon what the mentee is telling you. Then ask more questions based upon what the mentee replies.

What did the other person’s reaction seem to say about you?
What if you didn’t keep doing that? What do you fear would happen?
What is God inviting you into through allowing these circumstances?
What would you like to say to that person who hurt you?
Why do you believe that’s true when other people have told you it’s not?
What were you hoping or longing for?
What do you feel is lacking in your life?
What does that choice provide for you?
What were you saying about yourself during the time that hurtful thing happened?
How does your behavior leave out God in your life?
How does that behavior protect you from some kind of harm or pain?
Everything is a choice. Why are you choosing that destructive behavior: to gain something or protect yourself from something?
What does your choice say about who God is?
What does your behavior or choice indicate is your belief about God, life, or other people?

Kathy’s most recent book.

Learning to use these questions may take time. And asking them may not bring instant change to your mentee. But the mentee’s new sense of self-awareness can be used by the Holy Spirit to reveal wrongly-motivated thinking and choices. That kind of heart transformation will have long-range benefits.

 

(These thoughts have been adapted from Never Ever Be the Same: A New You Starts Today by Kathy Collard Miller and Larry Miller)

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Kathy Collard Miller

Kathy Collard Miller

Holiness Feels Like…What?

Hello from Kathy Collard Miller in the Southern California desert near Palm Springs where I’m feeling the heat.

Have you ever wondered what holiness feels like? Malachi 4:2 expresses what God might like us to experience when we see the fruits of holiness that he is producing in our lives: “But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in its wings. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall.”

Have you ever “leapt” in your spirit after recognizing that your trust in God had expanded to include forgiving someone who hurt you because you recognize how much you’ve been forgiven? Or giving grace by listening with understanding to a friend share a problem—even though she usually ignores you—because you’ve experienced God’s grace? Or resting calmly in a situation that normally drives you over the edge because you know God is in charge? Or being patient when your child spills milk at the dinner table for the third time because you know God has repeatedly been patient with you? We’re no longer fenced in and held in bondage by sinful patterns like worry, fear, selfishness, hate, resentment, and so many other binding things.

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Kathy Collard Miller

Kathy Collard Miller, Topics: Spiritual Growth * Family * Parenting*

Hello from Kathy Collard Miller in the desert of Southern California where we are enjoying the most perfect time of year, besides the beautiful Fall. Enjoy my latest story.

My husband, Larry, and I met because I was lost. Now we’ve been married 46 years.

It was my senior year of high school. The water polo team for my school, Downey High School in Downey, California, was going to be playing in the state championship. I’d never been to a water polo game but my friend and neighbor, Margie Tweedie, thought it would be fun to see one.

Margie and I rode the school bus to a distant school which had a huge indoor pool. Since it was a championship game, lots of people came from many schools, and after Margie and I exited the bus, we joined a mass of kids and adults trying to make our way into the pool arena area.

Before I knew it, I was lost. Well, only in the sense I suddenly looked around and couldn’t see Margie anywhere. Where has she gone? How did I become separated from her? I can’t see her anywhere.

As I looked around searching for her, I saw someone I knew. It was Frank Dawson from the Episcopal church I attended. Oh, good, someone I know. I’ll talk to him.

I went over to him and said hi when I realized the Cute Guy standing next to him was a friend of Frank’s. Frank introduced me to the Cute Guy as Larry. OK, Cute Guy has a name. Good. Larry and Frank explained to me they were both on the water polo team at Warren High school, the other high school in Downey. Warren High and my school were rivals.

After chatting a while, Margie still hadn’t appeared in the mass of humanity, so when everyone started migrating to sit down, it just felt natural for the three of us to climb up the bleachers together. I found myself sitting next to Larry and I quickly hatched my plan. Since I’d never been to a water polo game, I put 2 and 2 together:

2: keep Larry’s attention
+
2: ask him questions about water polo
——————————-
4: make Larry want to ask me for a date.

I’m a good question-asker. I’m a very good question-asker. And I proceeded to literally ask questions the whole game—about water polo and about his life. I knew I was being successful because he seemed to thoroughly enjoy my interest in him. I just knew we’d reach 4!

When the game ended (I can’t remember who won but Larry remembers), we climbed down from the bleachers and the magic moment arrived for 4! Larry turned to me and I knew the magic words would come out of his mouth: “I’d love to see you again. What’s your telephone number?”

Instead, he said, “Thanks for the nice time. See you.”

I weakly replied, “See you.” I felt the blood drain from my face.

Wait! Where was the 4? I was so dismayed and disappointed. Yes, that’s just like you, Kathy. You always get the fish on the hook, but he jumps off.

I didn’t know until later (yes, obviously, Larry did call and ask for a date later) that he was afraid to ask me for a date right then in front of Frank. He didn’t want to be embarrassed if I told him no. Hello! I had just paid rapt attention to him for several hours! And he thought I wasn’t interested?!

I had lots to learn about understanding a man–and 46 years of marriage later, I think I understand his motivation some of the time.

I’m so glad I got lost in that crowd. I’d like to tell Margie the result but I can’t find her. Wouldn’t that be fun to tell her?

I didn’t know it but God was arranging our meeting all along. Although I knew I was lost in that crowd at the water polo game, I didn’t know I was spiritually lost. I attended church and thought I was a Christian because I was trying to become perfect so that God could love me. I wasn’t assured of going to heaven–I thought I could only find out after I died if my good deeds had earned enough favor with God for Him to love me.

But because I was lost in that crowd, separated from Margie, I met Larry. I started dating him, attended his church, and I heard the clear message there that I didn’t need to earn my way into heaven. Jesus’ death on the cross and spilling His blood to cover my sin was sufficient for me to be accepted by God. But I did need to receive Him as my Savior and Lord. And I could be assured of going to heaven. Talk about the lost being found!

Psalm 119:176 describes me at that water polo game: “I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands.” (NIV). How fascinating that the Psalmist says, “God, seek me!” It’s God’s work.

Kathy’s most recent book.

Kathy’s recent book.
We met because I was lost. That applies to Larry in my life and that applies to God in my life. I hope you can look and recount multiple times when hindsight reveals God was working in you all along. If you haven’t recognized it lately, ask God to reveal how He has been seeking your attention. I guarantee He has.

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