When our first book was released, our mentor, Jim Conway,jim conway and bill mi (Men in Mid-Life Crisis), told our three young sons, “Your life is copy written. Make a deal with your folks, if they use a story from your life, you should get some benefit.” That was great advice because our boys would BRING us stories to use in exchange for a “royalty payment”.family young kids caleb 4

When they were little, tangible coins went into a jar for each, but with in a few years, we all agreed it was easier to give them their percentage when our royalty checks came, and that money went into their college fund.

So from the beginning of our writing career the boys say that their lives mattered and they had a very important part in the ministry too. Of course we did the obviously wise actions to protect our relationships by asking permission to use stories, and checking wording of anything sensitive, and deciding with them what stories not to tell. But over all, they have seen themselves as a part of the “writing and marketing team”

WafflesCover newIn English class in public high school one son gave a speech on Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti; In college, another son used Single Men Are Like Waffles, Single Women Are Like Spaghetti in a debate to share stats showing it is wiser to wait until marriage for sex.SIngle ws

The year one son graduated high school, another from college, and our eldest and his wife graduated with their Masters, they pitched in to help write 10 Best Decisions a Graduate Can Make

(The ebook is on sale for $1.99 thru June 30) 10 Best Decisions a Graduate Can Make (08 04

 

A favorite photo of our sons lifting their dad up like a hero is oft used with Bill’s 10 Best Decisions a Man Can Make book because that resource is great for mentoring– even discipling your own son. (ebook on sale for $4.99 til June 30)bill hero with sons

Our children’s love stories are in books. Brock and Hannah met when I did a booksigning in her parent’s Christian bookstore, and that story is in 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make. Their “take the high road” integrity of  not kissing til engaged  is in Guys are Waffles, Girls Are Spaghetti book for teens. And they all contributed input for The Before You Marry Book of Questions. (on sale now for $6 (use code “wedding”)

 

In addition, they have been gracious to allow us to use wedding photos when sharing concepts from several of our books on marriage, including A Couples Journey with God.

 

It is natural to want to share how Christianity works in your family, so make a plan to invite your family to be a part of your team, and a part of God’s ministry.  People want to know the inside scoop about an author’s life, love and family, so strategically plan what to share, when to share and how to share the life and love God has blessed you with.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)

 

Pam Farrelpam new close up fushia pink

Co director of Love-Wise.com

International speaker, author of 40 books including her newest 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman: Success in Keeping It All Together

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Bill and I are known as relationship specialists; experts on love and romance and marriage educators. pam bill kiss at ocean rebeccaWe have even been called “The Barbie and Ken of Love”.  Our ministry is www.Love-Wise.com and our goal is to help people in all their most vital relationships by intersecting God’s wisdom with people’s desire to be loving. So what this means is we need to live out our love! We need to make every effort to get along, work through issues, and give plenty of mercy and grace to protect our marriage. PamandBill is like one word.

We are unified, our brand is “us”.

You have a brand too.

You are an expert in something . . .or you wouldn’t have a book.

How hard are you working at protecting the brand? Are you watching over the little things in your life?

The Bible tells us this is a priority in MANY places– here are two:

Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough? Clean out the old leaven so that you may be a new lump . .  . (1 Cor 5:6-7)

Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

The A Priority is to guard our life and protect the gift God gave.

Which part of the Proverb would you choose to live out?:

(A) He who walks in integrity walks securely,

or

(B) But he who perverts his ways will be found out. (Proverbs 10:9)

Well done- you selected A!  Wise Choice!

Are you praying for a “best seller”? Consider this marketing method:

He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity (Proverbs 2:7)

For the Lord is righteous, He loves righteousness; The upright will behold His face. (Psalms 11:7)

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. (Psalms 84:11)

In my newest book, 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman: Success in Keeping It Together, I share that on7 simple skills 4 women high rez my desk are several items to remind me that it is imperative to “practice what I preach”:

1. Photos of me with Bill as well as photos of our children, grandchildren, mentees, parents– all those whose lives I would undermine if I cheated on my vows.

2. A compass given to me by a wise mentor in leadership who said, “Let God’s voice be your compass”

3. All my Bibles. Looking at God’s Word all day every day reminds me to be in it– and to let it impact the way I live.

4. A barnacle attached to a stone as a reminder that a barnacle cannot live apart from the stone just as I cannot survive apart from Christ, the Rock of my Salvation.

5. A frame with verses about living with integrity visible on the front– and stories of the harmful wake others in leadership left when they wandered from Christ.

6. A heart paper weight to remind me to have a whole heart for God.

7. A figurine with an umbrella on it, reminding me I want to stay under “God’s umbrella of blessing” For it is You who blesses the righteous man, O Lord, You surround him with favor as with a shield. (Psalms 5:12)

8.A turtle because if you see a turtle on a fence post you should ask, “How did that turtle get there? Turtles can’t climb so someone placed the turtle on high. In the same way, God gave mmy desk 001e my platform, so God can take me down. “Be humble in the Lord’s presence, and he will honor you.” (James 4:10)

What will you place on your desk to remind you that “those that honor God. God honors“?(1 Sam 2:30)

Guard your heart and your life . . .  that is guarding your brand.

 

pam pink flower headshot rebecca watermarkfreePam Farrel is an international speaker, author of 40 books and the co-director of Love-Wise— and she and Bill have been happily married for 35 years and her goal is to help as many others as possible discover the love of God so they can love others. Their life verse is “We love because He {God} first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

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Red hot wives correctOne of the ways of multiplying sales is to develop a challenge that the “everyday” man or woman can fit into his or her already full and responsible schedule. This is one reason books like: The Love Dare or Purpose Driven Life (and other 40 Day challenges) have done well in helping books fly off the book shelf. My friend, Arlene Pellicane, has several 30 Days to books (30 Days to Younger You; Happy Husband, etc.) My new book, Red Hot Romance Tips for Women is a 26 Day challenge to help women become a more loving wife. It is an A to Z look at the 26 traits husbands find most desirable in a wife. (Ired hot song of S 3 4 bill pam had the wives set goals using my “K.I’S.S.” method which I walk women through in my Red Hot Romance Tips for Women book)

Each wife buys the book, (paperback or ebook) then there is a short reading of a few pages each day in Red Hot Romance Tips for Women  (where she will select the idea she wants to implement). I encourage whole Bible studies, women’s ministries, or friendship circles do the challenge together. I also offer a daily email for 28 days (26 daily challenge “extras” and encouragements plus a day before and after as introduction/ reminder and a wrap up/ follow up (with ideas of the next book to use to enrich her marriage).

red hot collageI also created a Red Hot Wives private facebook group that is an optional meeting place for these motivated wives. The facebook group, along with my blog, had additional reach to feature books by other authors , as well as our own (like Red Hot Monogamy couple’s study), that touch other books and resources which impact marriage. I also had a daily graphic that was reposted, tweeted and shared by many members.

There were also giveaways of romantic items and books during the challenge to keep women connecting to the several times a day.

So far several thousand women have done this simple Red Hot Wives Challenge, and many of them have seen their marriages rescued and most all of them have seen their marriage improved or enriched. Even the few who have serious marriage issues have found a safe place to receive prayer and support during a difficult season in their marriage. To pull this off, I teamed with a talented graphics person, who automated as much of the contact as possible, however she also did the hard work to invite women into the private facebook group and did trouble shooting with the women who might not be as techie.red hot kindness

To expand the reach, next time I will team more with Christian counselors or writers who are also counselors. The challenge was especially popular during the Valentine season (and was a great godly, Biblical rebuttal to the “Shades ” attack on marriage as my tag line was, “Never settle for Mr. Grey when God’s Plan for Love is Red Hot!” Over all, the vast majority felt the challenge enriched and enhanced their marital strength, and for those with already healthy marriages, the challenge created many positive romantic memories and gave them an opportunity to be a bright light of God’s love in a world desperate to see if any couple has the real deal of a happily ever after marriage.

The wives have the option of staying in the Red Hot Wife private facebook group and I have seen women (and myself) share helps and resources and encouragements there between challenges, so a true community of wives who care about their marriages is growing organically). This group will receive marketing on future romance and marriage enrichment like invitations to our speaking, webinars, teleseminars, as well as video or new book release emails. A challenge is a way to really locate then minister to your target audience.

red hot adClick for details on the Red Hot Wives Challenge that our ministry runs. We are also working on connecting to churches that might want us to run a Red Hot Challenge for their local community, or speak on Red Hot Monogamy, Red Hot Romance Tips for Wives, or a Wow Wife Night featuring 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband: Put a Smile on His Face.

Some church leaders might want to target a time of year, like “Make Your Summer Sizzle” or “Make Every Day Valentine’s Day” . For more information about how the Farrels can team with your local church or community, contact us through Love-Wise.com website contact page.

The Farrels are relationship specialists, international speakers, and ministry leaders who have writtenpam bill red umbrella rebecca 40 books and have been happily married 35 years. www.Love-Wise.com .  Red Hot Romance Tips for Women (and most of the books by the Farrels) are available at most of the Christian Retailers bookstores, as well as online at CBD or Vyrso (ebook by Logos)

 

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Gal. 6:6 says, “One who is taught the word must share all good things with the one who teaches.” Bill and I have spent our entire married life in some form of ministry.

couples journey and bible

Around the world are selfless clergy couples who run to the side of others in need to give God’s love, so here are three things you can do to LUV your pastor or the clergy couples of your church (or parachurch) staff:

Listen—then take action: Tune in and get your eyes off yourself and ask honest questions to see if you really know what your pastor and his wife are dealing with personally. Some common struggles of clergy couples are economic distress or pressure; creating uninterrupted time together ; keeping a positive attitude in the middle of handling negative situations, or same stressors as anyone else: a strong willed or special needs child, a prodigal teen, health issues, or life stage drama like mid-life crisis. Be one of the people that surround the shepherd of your flock and offer a listening ear and tangible help. Your empathy and words of kindness and affirmation will also go a long way in helping easy this burden.

Underwrite: Be generous. Give funding to the pastor(s) to for the kind of things that keep a marriage healthy. Send gift cards for dates, pay for a weekend away in a nice hotel or loan out your cabin.   Oftenmoney gift Christian conference centers offer free housing to clergy couples, so even a small church can raise money for the gas and a couple meals and partner with the local Christian Camp to give your clergy couple some time alone together. In the church budget should also be funds for an annual marriage conference for the clergy couples to attend. Also, if there are clergy denominational meetings or conferences, add in a little extra to sponsor the spouse to attend too. Ministry minded marriages that have peers and mentors who they can be authentic with will have people to turn to in times of stress or crisis and this will strengthen the ministry marriage.

Volunteer: If you have a strong marriage, offer to help head up the marriage ministry at yourLifewayLeaderSet church, or at least part of it: offer to run a small group for married couples; chair a marriage retreat committee, be the point person for a couples, date night, or write a blog on marriage for the church website or weekly bulletin. If you want to help, but are short on time, use a DVD driven curriculum like our Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti.  If your marriage has survived and overcome a particular challenge, offer to the pastor to meet with other couples who might come to him for the same issue. If your pastor has young children, volunteer to babysit (or arrange the childcare) so they can have a weekly date night. Also offer to be part of a prayer team for the clergy couple or offer to pay for counseling, or the cost of getting them to a ministry minded intensive. (At Love-Wise we have a “Marriage On the Rocks?” resource list of multiple options to rescue and rebuild a relationship).

With a little bit of LUV we can show care for those who care so much for others.

pam bill closePam and Bill Farrel are international speakers, relationship specialists, and authors of 40 books, including The Secret Language of Successful Couples, 10 Best Decisions a Leader Can Make and 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make. The Farrels are focused on helping individuals and couples become Love-Wise. (www.love-wise.com)

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Personally and Professionally

I (Pam) have selected a word and a verse for the year each January since I was 19. Bill and I when we married at twenty, continued this tradition.

Download our Your Best Year Yet goal-setting worksheets.

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Selecting a Word for the Year helps provide focus. We each choose an area needing the most growth, help or improvement. By focusing our energies, choosing a Word for the Year, a verse, a theme and a clarifying question, we often see powerful results. Read More →

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