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Kathy Ide

Hi! I’m Kathy Ide. In addition to being a published author, I’m a full-time professional freelance editor. For CAN, I’m blogging about tips for writers based on the most common mistakes I see in the manuscripts I edit.

 

 

Cutting the Fat, Part Two

Following on the heels of last month’s column, here are more ways you can tighten your manuscript.

Cut out unnecessary words.

For example:

She nodded her head. (What else would she nod?)

I thought to myself. (Who else can you think to?)

whether or not

each and every

He paced back and forth (Ever seen anyone pace up and down?)

twelve o’clock noon (or midnight)

exactly the same

She got out of her bed. (unless she got out of someone else’s bed)

He looked at his image in the mirror.

There are four procedures that must be followed.

It was Pastor Chuck Swindoll who said . . .

 

Cut out “relative structures.”

For example:

The child who was tallest … (The tallest child …)

The system that is most efficient … (The most efficient system …)

The movie, which is titled Star Wars, takes place … (The movie Star Wars takes place …)

 

Cut out words that don’t add anything to the sentence.

Examples: just, quite, that, very, well

If a word can be eliminated without altering the meaning of the sentence, delete it.

 

Cut out redundant modifiers.

Eliminate adverbs and adjectives that don’t add anything new. For example:

whispered softly

shouted loudly

terrible tragedy

reconsider again

future prospects

past history

completely finished

true facts

unexpected surprise

 

Cut out excessive modifiers.

Don’t use too many adjectives or adverbs, especially all at once. Readers don’t need to know that the couch was a six-foot-long wing-backed-style sofa with a black-and-yellow-checked 1950s pattern cut from coarse Kentucky linen. If all of those details are important, spread them out. Show the character sitting on the six-foot-long sofa and running her hands over the black-and-yellow-checked upholstery. Reveal memories of her childhood, back in the 1950s when her parents first bought the couch, how the coarse Kentucky linen scratched her little legs. Back then she’d felt dwarfed by the huge wing-backed monstrosity. Now she’s resting her head comfortably on the high back.

Don’t use more than two adjectives or adverbs together. Example: “The cold, gray, sterile, hard concrete walls closed in on Jack, making him feel lost, hopeless, helpless, buried, lonely, alone, and abandoned.” Too many modifiers will make the reader think you couldn’t decide on the right word so you just threw in a bunch. Instead, choose one or two of the most important ones.

 

Don’t use two words that mean basically the same thing.

For example, instead of “She struggled with deep, intense feelings and emotions of anger and wrath,” choose deep OR intense, feelings OR emotions, anger OR wrath.

 

Cut out anything that states the obvious.

Don’t tell your readers what they already know, don’t need to know, or can infer on their own.

Don’t tell your readers things that are obvious to the general public (or would be common knowledge to people in your target audience). Watch for sentences that start with phrases like, “As we all know . . .” If we all know, you don’t need to point it out.

 

If you have a hard time finding things to cut in your manuscript, consider hiring a professional freelance editor. He or she will be able to see your writing more objectively and therefore help you find things that don’t really need to be in the book.

If you’re interested in working with a freelance editor (or know someone who is), e-mail me through the contact page of my website. Or go to the Christian Editor Connection to get referrals to other established, professional editorial freelancers. If you’re a freelance editor yourself, or think you might be interested in that field, check out The Christian PEN: Proofreaders and Editors Network.

ProofreadingSecrets

And when you’re ready to proofread your manuscript, consider getting a copy of my book Proofreading Secrets of Best-Selling Authors. It reveals how multi-published authors proofread their manuscripts to avoid typos, inconsistencies, inaccuracies, and errors in punctuation, usage, grammar, and spelling. The book is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble’s website.

 

 

FLD final cover

I am also the compiler for 21 Days of Grace (and the other books in the Fiction-Lover’s Devotional series), which releases on June 1, 2015.

 

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About Kathy Ide

Kathy Ide, author of Proofreading Secrets of Best-Selling Authors, has written books, articles, short stories, devotionals, play scripts, and Sunday school curriculum. She has ghostwritten ten nonfiction books and a five-book novel series. Kathy is a full-time freelance editor/proofreader/mentor for new writers, established authors, and book publishers. She speaks at writers’ conferences across the country. Kathy is the founder and director of The Christian PEN: Proofreaders and Editors Network (www.TheChristianPEN.com) and the Christian Editor Connection (www.ChristianEditor.com). For more about Kathy, visit www.KathyIde.com or find her on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, or Pinterest.

2 Thoughts on “Proofreading Pointers #41

  1. Love the examples. Something I try to point out to aspiring writers!

  2. Thanks, Karen. I love that we’re both helping writers hone their craft and polish their manuscripts, all for God’s glory!

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