One the wall of our bedroom is a beautiful portrait taken by a well known photographer.  The

The Kiss
Pam and Bill Farrel

photo is black and white then recolorized to highlight certain aspects of the portrait. The picture is of Bill and me. In the photo you can’t see our facesbecause I am wearing a hat, but you can tell, it was a kiss of love. How?

In the photo, I am standing on my tippie toes reaching up to give Bill a kiss. That peck was apparently was so amazing that it caused Bill to rock back on his heels. (I think this might be where the term, “head over heels in love” came from).  The look of our feet in this position of a public display of affection was the selling point, and this photo became the front cover of a Focus on the Family book on marriage.

When I had the photograph framed, this verse seemed so appropriate:

Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other.

(Ps 85:10 NIV).

The linking and balance of each couplet is what it takes to have long lasting love:

Love AND faithfulness:  The passion of love ignites the flame of intimacy but it is the commitment to faithfulness and fidelity that KEEPS passion alive year after year. Trust is built with a secure knowledge your mate is faithful!

Righteousness AND Peace: In marriage, it is important to do things RIGHT. Skills like communication, kindness, and servanthood are just a few of the building blocks for love.  Sometimes well meaning spouses fall into the no win trap of pointing out all the “improvements” the other can make in the relationship. It is easy for the other person to perceive this stance as he or she always needs to be “right”.  Pushing for what you think is right, is not always “right”.  That is where peace comes in.

Pam and Bill Farrel

Peacemaking and peacekeeping is the equalizer to pushing for the precise. Sometimes we each need to accommodate for the other to bring peace. Give grace over preferences and save your opinions for the things that truly reflect righteousness like keeping a promise, living with integrity, o

Men are Like Waffles
Women Are Like Spaghetti
Harviset House

r committing to love your mate as God loves him or her.

Pam and Bill Farrel are international speakers, authors of 45 books including bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, and

A Couples Journey with God devotional. Together they help people with their most vital relationship through their ministry Love-Wise,–the intercection where God’s wisdom and God’s love “kiss”.

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinrssyoutubeFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinrssyoutube

“. . . those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 14:11)

 

He sat in my office, his marriage in ruins, yet he was pridefully proclaiming all the things his wife needed to do, his kids needed to do and even what God needed to do. Nothing seemed to be his fault. Is arrogance was the biggest roadblock to healing his own family. We can all drift into conceit and smugness unless we are willing to be humble. To humble means “to depress and in Hebrew, the word humbly implies a stance of bowing, stooping or crouching as in worship.

Every day we have a choice. We can humbly cooperate with the way life is, we can bow to trust God or we can arrogantly try to define life the way we want it to be and attempt to boss God around.

Is there an area of your life that needs to bow to God’s will and God’s ways?

Pray together
Stay together

 

Pam Farrel is an international speaker, author of 45 books including A Couples’ Journey with God,

which inspired this post.

A Couple’s Journey
with God
Harvest House
Publishers

 

 

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinrssyoutubeFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinrssyoutube

We think that your marriage is a wonderful forum for instilling values, beliefs, principles and morals. Society sometimes just doesn’t know what to do with great men, great women, great dads, great moms, and people are often baffled by the wise, well spoken,  and well centered children focused parents produce.

We were very proactive in our parenting. We share the details of how we raised our kids is in 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make. The main point is that all along the way we prayed specifically and planned intentionally. We developed a Learner and Leader Plan with a yearly Farrel Family Fun Day and on this day each year we negotiated privileges and responsibilities. We gave them a gift that applauded their calling each year.

We reinforced good choices with a Teen Relationship Contract, Education Contract, Driving Contract, and as media developed, we added in a Media

10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make; Got Teens; 10 Questions Kids ASk About Sex

Contract. We added in plenty of fun like, father son trips and individual time with mom enjoying their favorite activities with plenty of time for deeper conversations.

At sixteen we gave them car keys with a verse on it, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;  that each of you should learn to control your own body  in a way that is holy and honorable,”  (1 Thes. 4:3-4 NIV) .

We also gave each son an ID bracelet with that same verse on it that they wore on dates.  Then as they prepared to launch into their own life, we have a walk into manhood inviting all their mentors to a celebration.

We also have a Freshman Foundation Dinner and Dialogue which is a series of five sets of discussion questions we used to talk through critical areas as our children went away to college. (All these are available at our Love-Wise website).

Farrel family

Sometimes people say, “Bill and Pam, you are so intense”.  We agree, we are intense—and intentional. Parenting is hard work, but the only thing harder is to not do the work and have to do much more repair work later because you didn’t spend the time sowing right thinking into your children’s lives.  We just elected to do much of the hard work early so we could enjoy the fruit of having kids making wiser choices as they grew up. One mentor said to us, “Pay now or pay later—but you will pay.”

Bill and I found working and planning together as parents drew us closer as a couple.  As a grandmother, I helped author, Raising a Modern Day Princess, because I was motivated to also

Raising a Modern Day Princess
Focus on the Family
Tyndale Publishers

help my granddaughters (and  grandsons) make wise choices.  As grandparents, we want to back up all the important wisdom our now grown kids will be passing on to their own children by reinforcing the

values mom and dad are sharing.

We know God’s desire is for us to be proactive in passing along our values:

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates (Duet 6:6-9)

10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make

We encourage parents to leave their trademark on their children ™

T- Traditions, the things you do yearly to pass on your faith and values.

M- Memories, the special once in a lifetime events or activities that build into your children.

So talk together about what you hope for as your children journey with you. What traditions, what memories do you want to plan in order to pass on your belief system?

Lord, help us be proactive in preparing our children well for the life journey you have for them. Give us wisdom and creativity as we plan traditions and memories. Amen

Pam and Bill Farrel are the parents of three godly grown sons, who each married God-honoring wives, and are raising 5 grandchildren to love and serve God too. The Farrels have penned several parenting books including 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make and 10 Questions Kids Ask About Sex. (Harvest House Publsihers) The Farrel family loves to gather on Bill and Pam’s live aboard boat in Southern California.

Pam and Bill Farrel
and family

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinrssyoutubeFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinrssyoutube

Marketing in today’s world takes a team—a well- oiled machine of wisdom–  or at least a circle of friends committed to share each other’s PR and “street team” nuggets so everyone moves their ministry and business forward.  This year at ICRS (International Christian Retail Show) the CAN Author Bootcamp was just that– a WEALTH OF CBA CAN auhtor boot camp pamWISDOM!~ ! In a wonderful “meeting of the minds” CBA (Christian Bookstore Association, CAN and Harvest House Publishers sponsored a very informative morning. I had the joy of kicking off the morning with a keynote on 7 Simple Skills to Success in Publishing where I shared  the God-empowered story of how Bill and I have survived and thrived for three decades in Christian publishing. (watch here (video thanks to Linda Goldfarb)

I have always loved passing right along any wisdom, connections, links, advice others have shared with me because this world is so dark that it takes ALL OF US holding up God’s light of love and truth to piece the darkness. Because of the world’s great need, we cannot, not should not, be selfish with the information we have gleaned or the advice others have passed on to us. That is what I love about CAN! Each person helping encourage and equip the other for greater success.

cba author bootcamp cba presI had the joy of hearing from so manty BRILLIANT leaders at the author bootcamp. Here is a quick list and my grateful THANKS! Because my husband and I learned SO MUCH TOO ) :

The Seinfeld Secret by Anita Agers Brooks

Websites and Plugins by Angela Breidenbach

15-Minute Writer by Dena Dyer

Marketing With Memes by Linda Kozar

Organizing Your Writing Life by Susan G. Mathis

Professional Organizations for Authors by Ava Pennington

CAN Your Marketing Movie by Maureen Pratt

Know Your Audience by Cynthia Ruchti

Reaching Reader Groups by Karen Whiting

Connect With Sponsors by Lynda T. Young

Ava Pennington shared a long list of organizations, affiliations, and networks that authors can join. Other than CAN, let me share four others that have been a source of encouragement, equipping and inspiration to me in this past year.

(Handouts from these mini seminars  available here)

cba author bootcamp Can bar harvest hosue

AWSA: Advanced Writers and Speakers Association. This group, started by author, Linda Shepherd, in 2011, is compromised of the top 10% of women Christian authors. AWSA hosts an annual summer conference the few days pam carol kent linda shepherd icrs 2013leading up to ICRS. In addition, they offer MasterMind groups for the more serious entrepreneur author; and a daily online “loop” filled with encouragement, equipping and positive support for the group’s members.

Bridge Builders: This is a new group to  most, but it’s founder, Maria Keckler is a long term friend of ours. We first met Maria when she and my husband, Bill, were both working for Dr David Jeremiah at Shadow Mountain Church in San Diego . Everything Maria has ever done is EXCELLENT A+ quality! I had the joy of being a cheerleader to her as she penned her first book, Be a Bridge Builder. She has gone on to create a power-packed online pam maria arlene at m hayattprogram for entrepreneurs’: Business Breakthrough University (of all kinds of businesses including writers/ speakers) . She is brave, bold, and Biblical and she has the ability to synthesize information gleaned from some of the world’s most successful business minds into a use to access, easy to implement format. Maria is a brilliant encourager and equipper who can take a person’s hopes and dreams and help turn them into a successful reality.

CWEN: Christian Women Entrepreneurs’ Network is a local (San Diego) networking group founded by Rebecca Garcia. These women, pam rebecca cwenfrom a wide variety of businesses, are joining together to equip one another, support one another but mostly grow in Christ so as they work their businesses they each reflect Jesus and glorify the God who gave them their talent, dream and platform.  If  you do a little research in your city or community,  you may have a similar network of Christians in Business.  I have three of four other local networking groups I speak for and am a member of– nothing like home town friends who you can hug, pray with and can pray for you!  If you can’t find one, maybe God is calling you to start one!

 

pam bill happy hug sail lightenedPam Farrel is the author of 45 books including best-selling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti. She and her husband, Bill, are Co-Directors of Love-Wise.com. When they are not writing, or speaking some place around the world, you will likely find them walking the beach or sailing.

 

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinrssyoutubeFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinrssyoutube

Author Photo.Christina Lusk.2.colorSo, I met this author, screenplay writer, comedian, speaker, teacher, and ex-reindeer handler at the Florida Christian Writers Conference a couple of years ago. I had the privilege of attending his continuing class on screenwriting.  At that time, he was editing his new book, and we got to hear a chapter (the one with the Christmas lawn ornaments and the BB gun?).

Since then, I’ve watched as God has blessed this author with one awesome opportunity after another. So, let me introduce you to my friend, Torry Martin!

Welcome, Torry! It’s been a busy year for you in many areas. But let’s start in the book section of your growing library of work. How many books do you have published?

In addition to writing some episodes for the radio program “Adventures in Odyssey” produced by Focus on the family, I also write for “Clubhouse” magazine for Focus on the Family. I also  have 8 books of comedy sketches published with Lillenas Drama Publishing and a book called “Shameless Self Promotion: And Networking for Christian Creatives” published by WordCrafts Press and co-written with Mike and Paula Parker.

Tell us about your latest title?

My latest book is called “Of Moose and Men: Lost and Found in Alaska”. It’s published by Harvest House Publishers and was co-written with my friend, Gold Medallion winning author Doug Peterson. Doug’s also written dozens of Veggie-Tales books.

MooseMen Cover(1)

Why is this book special to you?

This book is special to me because it allows me to share honestly with readers about the often hard and sometimes hilarious experiences I went through while living in The Last Frontier. Alaska is where I came to faith in Jesus and found a new direction for my life. I hope that it will encourage people who might feel like they are misfits or outcasts or who have been wounded or might have a questionable past that they’re ashamed of to not give up on God because God hasn’t given up on them. I know that’s a cliché, but it’s the truth. My hope is that by being real, vulnerable and exposing my own inner flaws, it will show people that if God can repurpose and reclaim the life of someone like me, then He can most certainly do the same for them.

How are you promoting it?

I’m doing radio interviews, television interviews and using social media to promote it. My publishers at Harvest House also sent out 87 books to a list of influencers that I gave them. The hope is that those influencers will then help to promote the book through their own social media and that they will also provide book reviews on Amazon and provide quotes for my book.

If someone wanted to help get the word out, what are 1-2 things they could do that would come alongside what you and your publisher are doing?

Helping to promote my book through their own social media is REALLY helpful. Mentioning my name and books or films to their connections in the news media or to magazine writers and editors is helpful too because it can lead to a profile article being written or something.

You were last featured on the CAN blog in 2012. What lesson(s) have you learned about promotion in the entertainment industry since then that might help other writers/performers?

The single most important thing that I have learned about promotion in the entertainment industry is that it pays to be nice. I tithe the first 15 minutes of every work day to promote anyone else BUT myself. First of all, that’s just fun to do. Bragging on my fiends is easy for me too. But I’ve learned that it’s also an “others first” philosophy and it has never failed me. I believe that you reap what you sow and if you sow positive into the lives of your fellow writers or film industry friends, that when or if they have the opportunity they’ll in turn sow positive into your own life in return. It doesn’t always work that way though. Sometimes somebody who has the ability to help you simply won’t. Or they can’t. Or they are afraid that you are their competition- which is utterly ridiculous to me. In my world, I don’t have any competition. I’m a one-of-a-kind original and so are you. I serve a big God and He wants to use all of us. I think that people who are only focused on their own careers and not in helping the careers of other people in the body of Christ are people who suffer from small-godism. They worry that if they help someone else that the other person might get ahead of them Heaven Bound promoprofessionally. Or that God gives in such small measure that they have to grab the opportunity from someone else because God’s blessings are so scarce. My God has a capital “G”. He’s big. He not only wants to use others to help you, He also wants to use you to help others. He wants us to work together as His body so together we can lift Him higher. Anyway- I believe that proper Biblical based networking is the best thing you can do for your career. I don’t have a publicist. I don’t have a literary agent. And right now- I don’t think that I need them. Every single step of my career has been due to the connections and influences of God and others. For instance, it was Kay Arthur who arranged for me to meet with Harvest House which is how “Of Moose and Men” became a reality. It was Karen Whiting who suggested me as the opening host for ICRS- I didn’t even know they were looking for one and wouldn’t have known who to contact if I did. It was through helping an aspiring filmmaker named Adam Drake that we became friends and that our first film “Heaven Bound” was produced- with him! It was through helping filmmaker brothers Caleb and Cory Vetter and becoming friends with them that my writing partner Marshal Younger and I were asked to write the screenplay for “The Matchbreaker” starring Christina Grimmie from “The Voice” and was also just produced- by them! It just goes on and on. The very worst thing you can do to damage your career is to focus on yourself. If you say “me”, “my” or “I” more than you say “you” well then “you” are the one in trouble. Just responding to your questions alone it’s been hard for me to keep saying “I”. But since you are asking for advice from “me”, I guess “I” is okay- this time. But it feels weird. Oh! Another tip is that if you come at people with an agenda, they can smell it a mile away. Just. Be. Nice. And put others first.

That’s such awesome advice. Good stuff. Of course, we know you do more than write books. From writing to acting to scripts, what are the most effective means of name recognition you use to keep your career going?

I think that reputation recognition supersedes name recognition and that is what makes name recognition actually happen. If you have a reputation for helping others and being a person of character and integrity- and if you are nice and friendly and have a sense of humor- well, folks want to work with people like that. Its “others” who make your name recognized. It’s also “others” who you want to recognize your name. So if that is the case, why not start at the very beginning and put “others” first?  You know, one of the smartest things I’ve ever done is stop worrying about my name. I determined years ago that my name wasn’t important. So many potential collaborations between writers have ended just over the order that the writer’s names will appear in the title credits or on the book covers. When I learned that, I decided that my name would always go last and I make sure that that is stated in my contracts. Even when the initial creative idea for the project is mine. There is only one project where my name has gone first and that is “Of Moose and Men”- but that’s only because the publishers wanted it that way because it’s the story of my life. I get that. That one made sense. But without Doug Peterson, this book wouldn’t even exist. It’s the same things with my screenplays. Without my amazing writing partner Marshal Younger, those wouldn’t exist either.

What do you think are the least effective promotional activities you’ve tried in your career?

I haven’t done any promotional activities. Not a one. I don’t even do book signings unless I’m asked. I should probably spend more time there. Maybe it would make me more successful. It just doesn’t appeal to me. Selling myself feels blech.

What’s your favorite way to connect with people?

In person. At a conference. On a film set. Over a meal. (Preferably their treat! Ha!) I also really like connecting with people on Facebook. I enjoy seeing their pictures and reading about their lives and exchanging comments and offering encouragements. To me Facebook is a great big living room where you can chill with old friends and meet new ones. It also feels like a great big refrigerator door where you can post things that you want your Mom and friends to see.  I wish Facebook existed when I was living in my cabin in Alaska. It would have felt a LOT less lonely then. Anyway- praying for God to guide my steps and to make holy introductions and divine appointments and then blindly trusting Him to do so and surrendering my own agenda has been the best way for me to connect with people because then it’s really Him doing it. Man, you get to meet a lot of really cool people that way. People you wouldn’t have met otherwise. I guess my favorite way of connecting people is when God does it for me. Yeah. That’s my answer.

You enjoy comedy and see the funny side of life. What’s happened to you that’s gone viral?

Oh boy. That story is too long for me to tell but it was the Taylor Swift video I did. It is a funny and crazy story and it happened all by accident. Google “Taylor Swift The Office Parody” and you’ll find it.

I’m going to Google as we speak…Oh, sorry. Uh, did you see God open any doors you never expected in the proMini Memotion of your books?

ALL the time. Even right now. These TV interviews that I’m doing this week. They contacted me. I just did the Word Network because of a friendship with Holly McClure. I’ll be doing Faith Broadcast Network in the UK and Africa tomorrow through a friendship with Frans Cronje. Then I’ll be doing “Atlanta Live” because of my friendship with the host Christy Sutherland. The magazine interviews I’m doing are all direct contacts from my friends too. But I’m talking REAL friends. Not pretend friends for the advancement of my career. I met these people by praying for holy introductions and then trusting God to manage my career and then- whaddya know…He did just that!  I’m not the type to hunt people down and ask for favors. There were a few times that I did that in my past and it didn’t feel right to me afterwards. It didn’t feel like authentic friendship. Simply saying “Hey- keep me in mind for your next film,” or something like that feels okay though. That’s just “putting it out there” and is fine, if you don’t do it too often. I guess I’m just not built to be an opportunist. I won’t climb over someone else to get ahead. The people who helped me and whose names I mentioned earlier- they just plain ‘ol like me, which baffles me completely. Maybe they’re all drinkers and don’t know any better. Or maybe- maybe they see a little bit of God in me the way that I see God in them and that is what made us friends.

What are your top tips for new authors promoting their first book?

Don’t use people. Don’t manipulate. Don’t overspend. Don’t be desperate.

Be nice, be diligent, be real and most importantly- be about God.

 

Torry, it’s been fun. And thanks for the advice! May God bless you when you’re in Africa, shooting with lions (not at them…let’s be clear). We hope they’re tame. Like kitty-cat, “let’s do a Fancy Feast commercial” kind of nice.

(Well, maybe cat food isn’t the best analogy to go with there…)

 

You can catch Torry @www.torrymartin.com.

 

‘Til next time.

Grace and Peace to You!

C. Kevin Thompson

www.ckevinthompson.com

 

Save

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinrssyoutubeFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinrssyoutube