This month, Dr James Dobson aired a two day interview with us on Family Talk radio on our book Red Hotfamily talk Monogamy.  (Radio Show Day 1; Day 2) Dr Dobson is one of the most respected leaders in marriage and family ministry. He was the founder of Focus on the Family in 1977 and now almost 40 years later, he is still on air sharing Biblical wisdom around the world.

I remember the first time Dr. Dobson invited us to do an interview. We had been serving in local church ministry, listening daily to gain sound advice to stay happily married and raise our own three sons. It was a daily life rhythm to Focuson family weith dr dobsonPhotolisten to Dr. Dobson and the terrifically wise guests talking  since the day we married in December of 1979. We began writing in 1987 and year after year when we released a new book, our publisher would send a sample copy to media, and we would hope and pray that maybe, just maybe we could one day meet Dr. Dobson and thank him IN PERSON and be on the radio show that literally helped form the foundation of our family.

After more than a decade of faithfully speaking almost every week on marriage and about 15 books into our now 44 published works, we got the news that Dr. Dobson wanted to interview us!   We were so excited but we thought it was rather humorous of God that our first interview was not the expected one about our bestseller, Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti rather they selected our then newest release, Red Hot Monogamy.

I remember praying, “Lord, seriously, the FIRST TIME I meet Dr. Dobson, a godly leader we have admired for decades for his trustworthy, faithful, well-researched Biblical wisdom, the first time we talk with him has to be all about our S*X life!”

God reminded me that He would give us the words, and that we had been faithful in the little things.

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much… “ (Luke 6:10 )

Our desire to try to be faithful to Biblical teachings extended to our decision to remain virgins until marriage. As college freshman God called us to a lifestyle of radical obedience as the way to break the negative patterns of the dysfunctional homes we came from and God gave us the gift of FREEDOM to live and love as God intended.

red_hot_monogamyHowever, because the interview was G-rated Focus on the Family and our topic was S*X, Dr. Dobson wanted us to come early so he could get to know us better. (We appreciated this extra time in his office because he got to know our story of faithfulness to God in ministry and marriage– and even before marriage, and we got to thank him in person for rebuilding and redeeming our family legacy). And it was a relief to all of us that we could talk for more than an hour during the interview about S*X and not have to use the word but rather replace it with the G- rated version of “Red Hot Monogamy” (The Red Hot Monogamy euphemism helped protect little ears that might walk into the room while mom or dad  listened.)

That radio program became one of the Top Ten that year, and later again when it was re-aired, and this last week, we could tell the positive impact from Family Talk airing it by the orders that poured in.

To me, it was a vivid example of the “faithfulness factor”,  meaning that sometimes success just takes T.I.M.E. In that first meeting, we exchanged our testimonies and  the where and who gave us training, equipping and mentoring. I remember Dr. Dobson saying something like, “Our lives have so many similarities, I am surprised we haven’t met sooner.” To us that was more evidence that

when people seek to walk with integrity, trust is built, quietly, one obedient choice after another.

God puts it this way:

A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. (Proverbs 22:1)

To the faithful you show yourself faithful… ” (2 Sam. 22:26)

Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him. (Psalms 4:3)

God longs to honor and uphold those who walk faithfully. In business, trust is built with the customer when we just KEEP creating quality products and treating people with the quality respect they deserve.  And as I share in my book Becoming a Brave New Woman, simply put:

She who hangs in the longest wins!

In marketing, PR, and in relationships and ministry:

Trust that as you do the RIGHT thing, in the RIGHT way, 

that God will reward you in the RIGHT WAY  at the RIGHT time!

In 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman: Success in Keeping It All Together, I simply summarize this principle with the advice to Just keep doing


Simple Skills next right thing

Pam Farrel is an international speaker, author of 44 books. She and her husband, Bill, have been happily married 36 years, and together they minister to relationships through





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