“Your mother is dying.”
My mind understood the doctor’s words, but my heart refused to believe them. Only a few days prior, my ninety-four-year-old mother had taken a day trip to Reno with my husband. How could she be dying?
Why now, God?
This was supposed to be the weekend I would put the final touches on my novel before sending it to my agent.
Too many circumstances in the past six months had kept me from diligently writing. Moving in with my mom after her stroke. Readying our house for sale. Packing the things of my own I wanted to keep. Thanksgiving, Christmas, visiting with my daughter’s family on their return from overseas. Stomach flu – three times in two months.
And now, this.
I was afraid.
Afraid if I don’t keep writing, my agent will drop me.
Afraid if I don’t finish my next project soon, I’ll never find a publisher.
Afraid if I don’t keep blogging and posting on social media, I will lose the tiny bit of platform I’ve gained.
Afraid to watch my mother die.
Like the song from Christian recording artist, Zach Williams, “Fear, he is a liar.”
God’s word is the truth.
“Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established” (Proverbs 16:3).
“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).
“The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps” (Proverbs 16: 9).
Though I’m afraid and overwhelmed, God is showering me with His peace as I meditate on His word. I encourage you to “take His yoke upon you” so He can give you rest.
Jane Daly is a banker by day, blogger by night. She makes her home in Northern California with her husband of forty years and two cats. Connect with her and see her published books at www.janeSdaly.com. Check out her blog, The Caregiving Season.